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Sunday, 20 September 2009

  • The Book of Job Abridged

    Is the test tube hugger delving into the depths into the Bible? Is the absolute agnostic absolved with aforementioned absorbance of text? Not if I keep with the annoying alliteration.

    But as part of my college’s core curriculum (there, I did it again), I am required to read the bible as it is an important Western text. As some may expect, reading the Bible for fun is not something I typically do, so when I found myself reading through the book of Job I was struck at how much editing could be done.

    So here is my (new and improved) version
    The Book of Job Abridged
    God: Look at Job, my faithful follower and a good man.
    Satan: Pssh. He only loves you because you gave him wealth. And children. And true love. The only way you can confirm that he loves you is if you let me kill his servants and children and destroy his cattle.
    God: That sounds like a reasonable suggestion…

    Servant: Job, I have terrible news and worse news!
    Job: Give me the worse news first.
    Servant: All of your animals have been killed.
    Job: Ohhh, that’s pretty bad. What’s the bad news? *takes sip*
    Servant: All of your children are dead too.
    Job: *spit take* How is that not worse?!?
    Servant: Well, the death of your animals effects how you can pay me. The dead children thing only really effects you.
    Job: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I wish I hadn’t been born!

    God: See, he still hasn’t blamed me.
    Satan: Come on. You still haven’t infected him with terrible diseases.
    God:…why am I listening to you again?
    Satan: *meekly* to make an inane moral test.
    God: Oh…right.

    Job’s wife: Job, this is all God’s fault! He’s taken everything away from you!
    Job: Well, at least I still have my health.
    *boils suddenly appear*
    Job: Jesus Christ!

    /whip pan
    Jesus: Hey! What are you looking at me for? I’m not even born yet! Besides, this is a Babylonian mith, not a Hebrew one! You know, the guys who had their own completely different sets of Gods. You might as well read Snow Crash. It even has an ending that’s satifyi-
    /whip pan

    Friend number 1: You must have sinned.
    Job: Have not.
    Friend number 2: Have so!
    Job: Have not!
    Friend number 3: HAVE SO!
    Job: HAVE NOT!!!
    Random guy who until this point has not been mentioned: I think you’re protesting a little too much Job.
    Job: Fine, if it’ll get you to SHUT UP!!!
    God: Hi Job, it’s God. Man, you must be pretty cheesed off so I figured you could use a little clarity. Bad things happen to good people. It sucks. It doesn’t mean that they’ve done anything wrong, it’s just that you can’t understand it. I’m God, so I understand everything. You never will. But as a benchmark: Wickedness equals punishment. Punishment does not always equal wickedness.
    Job: Wait, if you can be punished randomly without doing anything wrong, what is the point in being good?
    God: So, as I was saying: I’m God. I do what I want. Now, he’s everything you lost back.
    Job: You’re bringing my innocent children back to life?
    God: Ha!!! Good one. Don’t worry, these are ‘New and Improved Children’. That’s cool right. I mean, after all who really wants ten kids?
    Job: *facepalm*
    God: Oh, by the way. Your friends are dicks. You guys, sacrifice stuff to me. And trust me, if I’m willing to do something like this to someone blameless do you think I wouldn’t do it to you.
    Collective Friends: Yessir!!!
    Job: Wait, they get off with sacrificing to you? My own wife shunned you, and she didn’t even get the boils? And you’re letting all of them get off scot free?
    God: Yep!!!
    Satan: Sometimes I love when people make your point for you.
    /end cut

Saturday, 12 September 2009

  • How the terrorists won

    …and how we let them


    Well, I didn’t want to post anything yesterday because, frankly, everyone was doing it. And that’s part of the problem.

     

    Yesterday (September 11, 2009) marked the eight year anniversary of the terrorist attacks that reshaped the nation. You know, on the off chance that you’ve forgotten amidst the constant reminders.

     

    9/11!

     

    And the television programs.

     

    Never forget 9/11!

     

    And the still unfinished wars attributed to it.

     

    9/11! World Trade Centers!

     

    And the way that some people seem intent on never letting us go a month without reminding us of the justification of their actions.

     

    Remember 9/11 !

     

    Now, I don’t mean to be a jerk, I really don’t. It was truly something horrible. I can still remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. I remember laughing at a hideously uncalled for joke, because laughing seemed to be the only way to deal with a situation as surreal as it was for my 12 year old brain. (something I’m ashamed of to this day)

     

    But that’s the point. I remember everything just fine, and I believe that I always will. I don’t need people constantly reminding me how horrible it was.

     

    Would you go to someone whose mother was killed in a robbery, on the anniversary of her death and say. “Hey, remember when your mom was shot? Remember how horrible you felt, completely powerless? Remember how awful it was, that she died in such an incredibly horrible in painful way. And remember how they only caught one of the guys, when the person whose idea it was to carry it out made it away scot free. And remember how the police, after coming so close to getting the person in charge decided to use your mother’s murder to try and take down a local gang which had nothing to do with it? Wow, even after eight years it still hurts so much, doesn’t it?”

     

    I would feel completely justified with slamming whoever said that through a plate glass window. Looking on, you’d feel ashamed and disgusted (at least I would) by someone so casually bringing up a tragedy and dangling it in front of you. It sounds more like some villian taunting a hero over their Dead Little Sister Yet than trying to comfort someone who was hurt, yet this is what seems to be happening every year, every day, every hour .


    We’re still terrified, deep down, about what happened and whether it could happen again. Sadly, I’m afraid that because we seem to intent on remembering that we can’t let go. With every news story, every memorial, every History channel special we give power to the people who committed these acts against us.


    Every time we sell a bit of our humanity in order to “save America”, they win a little more. Every time we let fear erode our freedom, they succeed a little more.


    At some point we have to heal. It will leave an ugly scar to be sure, and I don’t know if I even want to be rid of it. However, if we keep opening the wound we run the risk on infecting everything we care about.


    It’s been eight years. It’s time that we begin to get over it.

Monday, 08 June 2009

  • How I got all science-y and less pray-ish

    My first week after exams, my aunt came to visit. We had a lot of fun, but one day, with my family sitting around she asked me, “As a science major, what do you think about God and religion”. Talk about being put on the spot.

     

    Now, I managed to semi-coherently stumble through an explanation of trying to understand God better by looking how the universe works. However, the whole truth is something that you can’t just blurt out at the drop of a hat, and it’s been nagging me ever since.

     

    While I remain utterly paranoid about divulging personal information over the net, a little background info will go a long way. Both my parents were brought up in the Roman Catholic Church, and both were fairly well entrenched. My father’s uncle was a Jesuit and he went to a Jesuit college while many members of my mother’s family went to a Franciscan one. (Which, on a side note, has yielded quite a few Jesuit and Franciscan jokes as I’ve gotten older. Utterly hilarious.)

     

    So I imagine there was some surprise when both of them decided to raise their children in a different faith. I believe that the official designation is Presbyterian U.S.A., though no one has actually stated it. (Apparently, you can be religious without titles. Who knew?) The funny thing about Presbyterians is that they are free to break off into their own sects if they feel like it so there are at least ten in the US alone.

     

    Anyway, I was a kid with a childlike faith in God. My God, with my specific beliefs.

     

    And that was when 9/11 happened. It was a bit of a shock, learning what some people would do in the name of God, and it planted that seed of doubt.

     

    And then I went to an all boys Jesuit high school.

     

    In retrospect, it was a really good experience. I dare anyone who thinks that Catholic priests are stuffy to meet a Jesuit. Every class I had with a Jesuit I enjoyed, partially because they defied my every expectation. I have never been sworn at worse than by my freshman history teacher when he discovered that an earlier class had slipped a copy of the day’s quiz to a later group. I have heard the punishment of Adam and Eve described as “I’m going to make want to do the horizontal mambo, and I’m going to make the consequence hurt like hell.”

     

    In fact, it was the Jesuits who were among the most liberal people I met in the school. When a teacher ended up chewing me out of my beliefs on abortion (which I foolishly decided to mention), it was a Jesuit who told me to keep my chin up. They never derided my faith or my upbringing.

     

    But being all angsty and rebellious I ended up becoming more and more irreverent…which is a point where I found myself now.

     

    But still, how did I get all: show me the proof?

     

    One of my classmates died of leukemia. I won’t mention his name, but it’s been something which has bothered me for a long time and really did something. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, and one of those ‘career suggestion’ services had put the idea of ‘biochemist’ in my mind. While I was learning about that, I kept hearing school prayers asking God to look after our classmate. I don’t think I ever met him, or if I did, I can’t remember his face. All I have is the name which was repeated over the loudspeakers. My junior year, despite getting a bone marrow transplant and all the prayers of our classmates, he died.

     

    I can remember sitting in the auditorium when they held a memorial service. I remember holding back tears to mourn someone I didn’t know. Perhaps it was the last of my childlike faith I was mourning: both in medicine and religion. I told myself that I would do something. My way of mourning would be to give something back to help, that I would become a scientist to do it.

     

    It’s through several lenses that I see the world, and at time they can be really annoying and all swim together. I work to find my own line in the sand of where I put God in everything, and at the same time I continue down the path between doubt and certainty.

     

    I think that if there is a God, then he would not put us on this Earth with logic and the urge to explore and be fine with us ignoring it. If we are given doubt, then why shouldn’t we use it to be constructive? I can look out at the stars and think they are beautiful, no matter whether they were created by an old white guy with a long flowing beard, a singular eventuality born out of chaos, or a drunken creature composed of spaghetti and meatballs. The world is objectively no different, only our perception of it.

     

    Finally, as the bard said, “’Tis nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” So do yourself a favor: think. The God you save may be your own.

Wednesday, 03 June 2009

  • The Death of George Tiller and why nobody wins.

     

    I know that this is late. Recently I’ve spent so much time talking about the issue behind the killing I have not bothered to address the fact itself

    This is going to sound shocking: I understand why his killer did it.

    “What?” you say. “Has he lost his mind? Has the pro-choice agnostic/liberal Christian/scientist gone over to the other side?”

    Well, no.

    The thing is, killing an abortion doctor is a logical response to an illogical argument… which is why it is so desperately flawed.

    Without referencing bad action movies too much, the idea is this: taking a life to save lives. “Kill one, save a thousand.”

    The problem is that once you leave the cozy bubble of ideology you are forced to come to terms with logic. Is a fetus a human? Science and the law say: no, not until thirty weeks into the pregnancy. Roe v Wade even makes a provision to allow the banning of third trimester abortions.

    The idea of life at conception is a religious one, and not an extremely well founded one at that. I have yet to even find a passage in the Bible which specifically says that life begins at conception or that abortion is immoral. Rather, it is religious tradition that tells us that it is wrong: pro-lifers believe that it is wrong because some other human, a fallible being, tells them so.

    In killing the good doctor, his killer has decided to become evil to destroy evil. In hoping to stop an evil, he allows himself to be tainted by it. Does that sound familiar to anyone at all?  It sort of reminds me of a certain group of people who decided to crash planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon because they felt that they were battling the “Great Satan”.

    What is the result? The incorrectly makes the entire pro-life movement looks like the group of evil extremists. It makes a martyr out of the abortion doctor. Now, pro-lifers are terrified that the government will force doctors to perform the procedure despite moral grounds. (Which I personally believe is a complete load of horseshit)

    What about the pro-choice side? Tiller was one of the few doctors in the country who would perform the procedure after twenty weeks. How many more doctors are going to stick out their necks after this? Good doctors, doctors with families, will continue to be harassed and the lack of available doctors to perform the procedure after a specific date makes it all the more difficult for woman to find the medical attention they need.

Monday, 01 June 2009

  • Ramblings of a Happy, Centered, Agnostic

    Who am I?

    I'm a scientist who loves science fiction.

    I'm a man who doesn't have a lot of faith and who loves fantasy.

    I'm a believer in free love and a fierce monogomist.

    I'm a social liberal and an economic conservative.

    I respect peoples ability for their opinion, but I think that if they can't defend their arguement then they should shut the hell up and I expect no less in return.

    Life is all about reveling in the contradictions...and figuring them out.

Tsukishijin

  • Visit Tsukishijin's Xanga Site
    • Member Since: 6/1/2009

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